yo, half year diary is on.

it's 24th of january 2011, the day i will never forget. recently just felt into some love trap, getting trap inside is hurt and miserable. but guess what, maybe it is one of god challenge to me. maybe he want me to overcome my limitless. i admit that i just felt in lxxe with a girl, maybe i dont have the spirit and enthusiams to be friend with her.... just got expel from her...

i should have think from her point of view, eventhough we can be together, there are many obtacles to pass through, she need education, where else i myself still not qualified for her. i think after i leave sandakan on the 13th february, i will start to improve myself until i reach the level people recognise me.

her family is rich but not my family, so i have to work myself out, but i never regret for what i had done. at least i managed to give her cheese cake. at least what i had promise her i had done it. so , now i want to make a promise to myself that i will achieve success and that time she is going to be my soul partner, because i know that without knowledge and some success , her parent wont allow us. this is my promise to myself, who cares i am a virgin!

28 july 2010

i realised that i got a bit bored with my daily life. i use to be playing with basketball everyday. guess what? maybe it had been a legend after all. nowadays, i use to read books.... i sacrifice my time just to read those stpm books.. i sacrifice my eyes... my eyes started to get blur. i cant see thing clearly from far away. maybe it is because i use too much of my sighteness when i read books.

2 weeks more it will be excel exam and almost 100 days more will be stpm. i am still leak of the strength to motivate me study. because i achieve number 1 in my school, i dont have the push to study hard as before. i become very lazy and clumsy through out the time.

i also started to go church which is quite boring to me. listening to those unenlightenment talk by the priest. .. please le.. i think i dont need those thing... what i need is something that can motivate me... to me, those talk is for those who walk the devil path.

now, i still got plenty of sejarah books to study and also geography plus pengajian am & a bit econ.

i still dont have the courage to face the real exam. perhaps i should be friend wit my fear, let fear overcome me and let it be one of me.

fear is my ally. fear confirms me. fear is energy that is convertible to power- our power

Deal with The boss; Donald Trump

today i walked around the town and within 1 hour, i manage to sell 15 coupons of my school bazaar. so, i am really proud of myself.

god bless me that i managed to sell 6 coupons during my last 10 minutes, then my mom called me up.so, i learn the gut to deal with people, without shame, just deal with the boss.

even one of the boss of the shop just told me that he just support rm100 for one of the student of st mary, but he still by one coupons from me.

nevertheless, i still hope that

Win big or lose big

on the 7th of august, my school, st mary is going to held a bazaar. so, on that day my class is going to sell cakes, sushi, handicraft, drinks; coke, mango juice/ kiwi juice and also we are going to set a 6 game stores.

the main problem is i find that my classmate dont have any reaction at all to the bazaar. am we leak of communication, or did give wrong command? i and 3 other girl go out to find sponsor for our class, the girls manage to find rm400 for our class. i really appreciate their sincerity in helping to find our class fund. thank you very much lee yian yee, quek ying ying and leong kat fun.

i know that there are some conflict at gavel club there where leong kat fun ask sponsor of rm100 from gavel club. you know what? i praise her for her bravery. i heard friends said that she is sucks because she use the gavel club to seek sponsor for 6AK1 class, but i can say one thing to those who think badly about her is" did you guys go seek for sponsor? you all blame her on taking sponsor from gavel club for our class?" you know what, fuck you guys, (o0o). if you guys brave enought like her, you guys can easily get the sponsorship from gavel club.

nevertheless, thanks so much for those who put their heart in helping to make success in the bazaar. i appreciate my interact president , clement lim for putting so much effort in helping me too. i can see that he is very busy on his interact installation night but in the mean time, he was able to help me in creating a fishing pole( game store). he was also busy in his BSMM marching, exam, but he did not say " i cannot do that" . so, i was touched by his action. you know what? i see he got enthusiams in doing work.

studying in form 6 is not about study, we have to learn how to social with people, how to lead people. you guys can imagine that if one day we work in a big company, as a labour for that company, we need to work for that company truthfully, no simply waiting for the end of the month and get salary.

back to the main topic, i dont see any communication between me and my classmate, so , i hope that i can have all my fellow teammates to support me. please friends... what i want is you guys work with me, no you guys work under me. i believe with the respect and truly support from you guys, we can be able to win big as a TEAM.

T=TOGETHER ,E=EVERYONE, A=ACHIEVES, M=MORE

I learn it from RYLA, thank you very much for raising me up.
I also miss the ryla participant very much, what can i say, i am not born as intelligent man but i build my intelligent step by step, i fight with my spirit, i told my self that i can do it. i believe in myself that i can make something extraordinary to happen.

little hardworking girl

these few days, i had orientation programmes with my junior( lower six) student. those student were very funny and playful. among them all, i had a little interested in one of them. that student was very hardworking and also a bit noobie. ( lol, looks like i am saying bad thing about him). nay~ no,no, i really like her style very much( not those love like<--) . what i mean is, i like her hardworkng style. she is very active that she cant stop do any activities.

actually, i see potential in her, with her perseverance, she will be able to score 4A in her stpm. this is the kind of quality that i have been searching for. those who cant stop do thing. i admit that i really lose to this kind of people. so, if allah can allow me to teach her, i hope she can be able that score well in her up coming exam.

i also hope that she will be able to realise that form 6 is not easy to study. be hardworking in study but not school activities. what the teacher ask them to do, just annoy them. books is your first priority, not school activities. and also dont date anyone because they will be a burden or blockage to your study. so, i really hope that she can do well in her study

alhamdulilah, may allah bless her

Pressure on the stupid school painting wall project

what the fuck, i really mad at it. the whole fucking wall of the ground floor- total of 8 large wall + 8 small wall needed to be paint. at last, only a few bunch of people leave to do the painting. the others? family sick , got planning for friday , got other important thing to do. what the fuck with these people, how about us ?? those stupid fellow that paint the fuckng wall in the school? doesn't we also have important thing to do? doesn't we have thing to plan ? we dont need to study ?

damn it, it's my false. i accept this stupid task and let my members suffer with me. come on,man . this is not going exactly to what i plan to be. those fuckers that dont help in this project. i pray for u guys can have a good future. maybe oneday,you guys will also suffer like what we( bunch of drawers) suffer today. paint like an idiot, but at last, we cant finish it.

if you guys--> (those who dont help) want help from us in the future. i am the first one to say NO to u guys, i have enough of it. leader, you take care of the BSMM urself. i want to concentrate on my study in the future. damn you, also give me job to do and you yourself dissappear in the midle of nowhere. o0o. fuck you !

I TRUST HER

I told myslef that i trust her, because of "trust" that word is very important between us. if both of us cannot even trust each other, then for what reason we ..........

Hope that i can still concentrate in my study ... 3.5 cpG gogogo!!!!!